So far so good. Listen up, life behind bars is by no means easy--- not by a long shot! Anyway who says prison is like a five star hotel should have his/ her head examined. It is hard, emotionally very lonely, physically demanding and for some reason all inmates inevitably end up with a chip on their shoulder towards someone. The funny thing is that behind all the friendliness or hostility there are traces of slyness… Most of the inmates are quite skilled to con and subtly get out of a prison deal, then some also carry around an attitude of – you owe me-. It’s actually quite kak here. Take my word for it! Prison sucks! For the record, all those movies that you see on TV, are not at all what South African prisons are like! All those myths about showers and soap are totally nonsense. Yes, some prison rapes do occur but it’s extremely rare in my experience and most cares happen between members of the 28’s. The consensus is that if you want to get raped, you probably will be… (No one drops the soap anymore; they might sprinkle some washing powder and make you pick up the granules…)
I am eventually moved to D-unit thanks to Chad operating effectively as liaison between the different rugby teams. Mr KΓΌhn, one of the most honourable Gatta’s I’ve ever encountered is my new unit manager. This guy, although fair and open-minded is not someone you would want to face on a bad day. Violence comes quickly if you’re a smart-ass and piss him off. I learn a little more about my team mates…
Riaan is actually a gentle giant. He is in prison for defending his property from poachers. Unfortunately the poacher got more that he could handle and passed on… Now I’m not saying murder is right, but poachers carry guns and they go out to kill. So, I do sympathise with Riaan and think he got the short end of the stick… It’s only in SA that self-defence is made a political issue. It’s amazing how many murderers of white farmers are in prison… But one Mlunghu kills a darkie and all hell breaks loose. Politically it’s a shame… it’s true what they say about England being run by a king and called a kingdom…
Chad, he is in for multiple hi-jacks and attempted murder. In all a very decent guy believe it or not, he just went off the rails… then there are a number of political prisoners… Black and white which I currently cannot name as they are waiting for a pardon from our president.
Glen is a 24 year old young man, overly energetic and is serving time for killing a woman who owed him drug money… enough said about this man. He is a little crazy in my opinion and needs some rattling.
Jean is another clown who we nicknamed “Prince of Pretoria”. This idiot thinks he is the cream in the milk and lies so often that even I caught him out about which year he passed matric… In one day he gave me three different dates… what an asshole, it turns out he actually wrote it here in Zonderwater… This guy who walks like a duck stole a car unknowing which had a caravan attached to it with an elderly couple inside… can you picture it?
Louis, is the joker of D-unit. An ex-policeman who got a life sentence for murder and another life for robbing a car. Go figure that one out, I can't – but its true. Our justice system never ceases to amaze me…
Slabs, now this Bloubaaitjie is old school. He spent the last 21 years in prison and actually requested the prison to bake him a cake for this milestone (he got it too). Exactly why he is in prison remains a mystery,(usually when guys don’t talk about their crimes, they are paedophiles...) but he picked up so many internal charges that his release is not an option anymore…
Skollie and his girlfriend apparently shot a preacher, why … he felt like it…
Larry is the librarian, an old man of 62, in for molesting a young girl. a Sick f***r and I wont say any thing more about him…
Corrie and Giel are friends and enemies, depending on the time of the month. Both these old farts are compulsive complainers and they live in the same cell, they always fight about trivial things… They remind me of those guys in the movie “Life”- starring Eddie Murphy…
So these are a couple of guys in Delta unit. We all share the same cell and quickly found out that too many Gamla’s in one cell is a recipe for disaster…
Jan, who has the lower bunk of our double bunk, keeps complaining every time I get in and out of bed. He says I rock the bed too much… haw much is too much? So I deliberately shake the bed so hard that my teeth actually rattle… Nobody likes this man’s attitude and he reminds me of Droopy the dog… The next morning he woke up and found a turd in his shoe… (It wasn’t me- promise!) Apparently someone sized the opportunity to pay him back for some unresolved issues… the culprit – unknown, suspect – Me… As my fellow inmates will soon find out – I can also play this manipulating game…
I’ll close with this quote:
Quote of the week: “No matter where you are in the world, there is never a shortage of idiots!”
I enjoy your posts... very lighthearted. The world needs more lightheartedness (is that a word?)
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